Saturday, December 30, 2006

hmm... I think this blog can officially be deemed a failure. Is there some way to delete it?

Maybe I'll use it more if I make it out to Europe next year. Maybe...

Thursday, December 08, 2005

OMG! I forgot about my blog!

My dearest blog,
I am sorry I forgot about you. It has been approx. 3 months since your last update. For that, I apologize. Let us continue with the posts, shall we? News:
  • Exams next week.
  • The small Cambodian child will henceforth be known as a Jolie-Pitt. Lucky child. Not only one sexy famous parent, but two! Oh well, what he makes up in luckiness he'll pay for in psycological complexes later.
  • We just bought an x-mas tree and met a human-sized pineapple. (and I have the pics to prove it!)
  • New Years is happening at my house. Please come. We will be having a two story party. sick.

Here are the promised pics:

I told you it was human-sized!
Mmmm..just thing about how tasty a pineapple that big must be. Armph! Sweet, sweet juicy apple from the pine...

The other half with our new friend. Check out our sexy xmas tree.

Some other rando pics:

Sean King doing the dishes. Never thought I'd see the day.

This guy wanted money. I felt bad for his "condition" and almost gave him some. But I wanted proof first.

Alex Maltby wearing glasses. He was blind, but now he sees....well, not anymore because I took them back. Hopefully he'll get a new pair from the big S-Clause.

awww...Cecilia. I miss you! Come home soon.

Les Minous. Cat White on the left, Cat Black on the right.

Luke, stope being such a tease....

And finally, possible the scariest thing you'll ever see. (you WILL be scarred for life)

I will eat you, child!
(it's me with the colours all negative-ized. creepy, I have blue teeth.)

Must be going now, dear, dear blog. I will be back soon though.



Thursday, September 15, 2005

Allie, start laughing.....NOW!

*if you are not Allie, you can stop reading, fool!*

Allie, hopefully you will be able to see the pics and read the writing. When I found this I was like "WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK! This is whack. Whickity-whack." How would someone obtain such an item in the first place? What would you use such an item for? -or to rephrase that one, Why would you need such an item? And finally, why would you pay 3000$ to do whatever you are going to do with it? Creepy but funny to think about at the same time.

Two major concerns need to be voiced here:
1. Does she know "her"(if it is, in fact, hers) lingerie is being sold online? If it was mine, I'd be creeped out sooooo much. Imagine having someone prance around in your underpants (can this be considered underpants?). and...
2. Who has a 32C chest? How is this even physically possible? It's like balancing an elephant on the top of a peanut. or i guess a huge godzilla-peanut (each nut represents a boob) on top of a tiny, tiny, itty-bitty elephant. uh..or so I've heard...(this analogy makes no
ok, g2g. I'll ttyl, child.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Ugh...Frosh and Boring Children

Greetings all. I just got internet at my new APARTMENT-!- so i haven't really updated lately. So..... This week was frosh. Kinda boring in my opinion. Lots of first years getting drunk, which isn't exactly my cup of tea. I'm giving my liver some time off. A vacation if you will.
*insert liver here*

*and here*
*on second thought, that might lead to drinking so maybe not*

The commies (communications kids) were pretty cool, especially the group leaders, but I found that frosh - and university in general- seems to be consisting of single-serving friends. You meet someone, exchange a few words, and then never see that person again. I entertained the idea that it was a mistake for me to not move into res or leave town, but then I realized that I really don't need to meet many people. Most relationships are pretty superficial anyway, so why waste time meeting random people who are not interested inthe same stuff as I am. I plan on joining Oxfam and helping with the newly-created Oxfam club here at Ottawa U. Maybe I'll meet some cool people there.

Also, University has revealed an entirely new "species" of teenager to me. I'm used to the relaxed and care-free attitude of the Lisgar child. You know, the kid who's like "I'll wear this random piece of cloth as a shirt, mix it with these polka dotted pants. Socks and Briks are the best. I don't care what I look like, etc etc. " This "new" brand of teenager seems to care what everyone else thinks and is constantly obessing about looks and being "cool". I'm having a hard time finding individuals among this mass of boring, air-headed automatons. That was mean, but still, what a strange phenomenon.... I can't handle it. These kids need a good dose of Otesha. They can't seem to see the bigger picture, either. They don't care about what's happening in the world. I need to find more of my kind.

Speaking of the bigger picture, I'm looking to get a job with the UN/CIDA, maybe for the summer, because apparently, they're hiring people like crazy. If I can't find a job, I'll try volunteering. But a job would be nice. expecially over seas. and especially for the Millenium Development Project in New York. I fucking wish!

Here are some pics of me during frosh week. The Commie theme was "Punk 101" so my hair is in a mohawk... or at least it's trying to be a mohawk.

We got shirts and "punked them out" with homemade buttons and spray paint.
Geeze...I'm such a rebel, eh?

A profile view. You can see the supposed mohawk more in this pic.

That's all. Goodbye, friends.

ps. Leave comments! I need human interaction!

Friday, September 02, 2005

I wonder what they would ACTUALLY say...

Creds to for this one. It made me laugh out loud. And I was by myself. And then I felt awkward. Even though I was by myself and no one was there.

Anyway, I pity da fool who don't read on!

The following is a transcript of a recent telephone conversation between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Darling, I can't believe what I am hearing in the news these days.

Yes, my beloved, I know exactly what you are talking about.

The uncertainty millions of people are facing.

The fact that nobody is prepared to provide answers.

The complete lack of leadership and direction in this whole affair.

The inability of the people involved to deal straight with the public and tell them what is going on.

The constant glare of the media spotlight but still no real information.

And no concrete details as to what lies ahead.

Whatever will the people in Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama do?

I thought we were talking about our relationship.

heh heh smart with the current affairs reference. And here's another (so good it's hellatight.)

The following is a transcript of recent telephone conversation between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
Hey, honey, why don't we do something romantic today?
You mean you want to hang out in front of a computer in our pyjamas and write online satire together?
No, I was thinking of something less glamorous and profitable. I hear there's a dinosaur exhibit on today. Wanna go to that?
That's odd, I didn't know the Rolling Stones were in town.
No, silly, real dinosaurs.
Hmm ... standing around looking at old bones for a couple of hours ... Well, I must admit that it sounds more interesting and original than the script to our last movie.
Dammit! The Stones, man. The Stones...

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Hilary Minogue? Kylie Duff?

Ok, so I've recently been seeing a few pics of Hilary Duff on TV, internet, etc. and I'm starting to notice that she is slowly transforming from a mousekateer into horse into Kylie Minogue. I've decided to prove my point by creating a little Hilary Duff photo timeline. It begins...

*giggle giggle* "Call me Lizzy Maguire or Minney Mouse, which ever."
Ditzy Disney pre-teen stage Hilary Duff.

"I'm wearing fake fur and a see-through shirt!"
The I'm-growing-up-now-but-still-have-the-fashion-sense-of-a-12-year-old Duff.

"I'm in love with everyboy!" The Teen Girl Squad!
I can't decide whether she's Cheerleader, So-and-So, What's Her Face, or the Ugly One.

Since we live in a democratic society, please feel free to cast votes in the comments section so this issue may be resolved quickly.

"I've been attacked and mauled by cosmetic enhancement monster, and I love it!" When bad teeth happen to moderately acceptable people. What the fuck happend, you say? Well, read on...

Hilary explaining her new teeth.

A horse. Need I explain further? I think not.

Now, recently she's been looking even stranger. She must have lost a lot of weight because the resemblance here is just uncanny. Check it out the freaky-ness.

Hmmm... yes, strange indeed. The only way you can tell them apart is that one has an Aussie accent and saggier breasts.

Anyway, thought that I'd share my few cents on the strange, strange phenomenon that is Hilary's shapeshifting. Later!

Oh those Koreans...

Wow. I thought that I had too much time on my hands but -dang!- those pure-blooded Asian types have proven me wrong once again. Curses!!!!
These pics are simultaneously cute, funny, and fucking cracked-out and weird. (translations below)

"Ow... Someone SAVE ME!!!"

Left: You idiot! You're gonna starve if you keep up like this. Just eat fer krissakes!
Right: No way... I still have to lose 3 more kg.

"Don't Cry.. Promise I love you more than the Onion!"
I think this is what it says. not quite sure about this one.

Frame 1: Waaaahhh! I'm going to kill myself!
Frame 2: Don't do it! Don't do it!

Frame 3: I'm sorry, but living is too hard

Frame 4: splat! "Eiyahh!!"

And finally, my personal favourite...

Left: Owwww...... My asshole, my asshoooooooole, dang. It seems like it's torn apart
Right: Be careful, man. . You'll have to get surgery like me.

Check out the rest of these crazy Korean pics at

Later, Allie! (does anyone else read this?*if so, write a comment you lurker!*)